Stop, Moon, Thief!*

The Solar and Intergalactic Atomic Association (SIAA) has filed suit against the Moon for copyright/patent/trademark infringement. It also accuses the Moon of reverse passing off, attempting to claim the Sun’s light as its own and calling it Moonlight.

Proponents of the Sun claim that the Moon has persisted in the willful infringement of the Sun’s product for too long, sometimes going so far as to completely block the Sun’s product from getting to its intended market.

According to the SIAA, the Sun makes its light by a very detailed scientific process; nuclear fusion is not something anyone can do. The specific shape of the Sun’s appearance, the shade and hue of its light and the intensity of its glow are all results of the Sun’s creativity in deciding how to render itself to Earth. The bright yellow/white spear and white light are symbols that clearly represent the Sun.

“The Moon not only steals the light from the Sun, it adapts it, and then distributes the adaptation, all for its own credit!” explained SIAA spokesperson H.E. Apollo, further explaining that the Moon is also attempting to benefit from the good will of the Sun by redirecting the Sun’s light for its own purpose. “In a case like this,” Mr. Apollo continued, “we can’t rely on trade secret protection. Earth scientists have already discovered how we create the beautiful glow and warmth that is our business. We must rely on copyright, patent and trademark to protect our product.”

Representative for the Moon, Diana Mawu calls the SIAA’s claims baseless. “The Moon is not stealing anything, and is very offended at being accused of such behavior,” she told reporters yesterday. According to Ms. Mawu, the Moon’s behavior is perfectly legal. “The Moon obtains its light from the Sun via a millennium-long agreement. If the Moon desires to share this light with others, it is the Moon’s right.” Even if the Moon did not have such a long-standing agreement with the Sun, the Moon’s behavior would still be protected, Ms. Mawu claims. “The Moon is transforming the Sun’s product into something new. A new product that is not attempting to replace the Sun’s but meet the needs of a market in which the Sun is not likely enter, Night.”

The SIAA argues that the Moon is not “sharing” its light in the true sense of the word because no matter how much light it gives away, the amount it has is not diminished. As for the transformation argument, Mr. Apollo claims that the use of the Sun’s product is hardly transformative; the Moon merely dims the Sun’s light. In addition, the Moon takes a substantial portion of the Sun’s work in making this so-called transformation, most of its light. “The Moon is trying to claim that it is doing good work by delivering light to those who cannot receive it from the Sun. It is not the Sun’s fault that some are not in a position to obtain the Sun’s product. All are welcome to make arrangements with the Sun to obtain light directly from its source instead of through this third-party infringement.”

Mr. Apollo expressed the SIAA’s position at a press conference earlier this week: “The Sun’s products highly valued on Earth. We all know that life as we know it could not survive without the hard work of the Sun. This work needs to be protected. I am confident that the law will prevail and not let such an important producer sit unprotected in the sky, free for anyone to steal its creation.”

Ms. Mawu also remains confident, but that the Moon will “succeed in thwarting this blatant extortion attempt.” “The Moon is doing nothing wrong!” she insisted. “Besides,” she added, “the Sun has failed to file any trademark or copyright registrations or applications for patents.”

*Hopefully it goes without saying that this report is fictional, but just in case, “this report is a fictional story used for illustration purposes.”

Image credits: Winter Moon in Red Oak Frame, cc-by-nc-nd, Ray Schroeder; Sun, author.

Hat tip to The Boondocks episode Riley Wuz Here for the line, "you know Riley, the moon steals its shine from the sun, and no one ever gets the two confused."